Austere and Lonely Offices

by Harborer

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1.
Basement Hum 05:12
all this time i've spent underground i forgot what the light looked like all this time i've spent in my head i forgot what you look like was it something i said something i wanted to it's what you said it's what you meant to do halloween treats or anything sweet don't excite me much anymore reaching out from these paneled walls the cries of yet another soul it's what i meant it's what i wanted to do it's what you said it's what you wanted to it's what i want it's what i can't explain it's just real life i've nothing left to say longing for a fraction of a feeling a connection of any sort the hum of this room goes on with no end i jump when i hear the door what have i said that others haven't yet it's what we need it's what we really want it's what you know it's what i tried to do it's what you know it's what i tried to do
2.
only in my country will i see a man put down he's expecting nothing as he jogs all around only in my country will a murder be allowed only in my city and also every other town the lights pull you over you try to keep your will only in your country is this how you're killed only in our country only in our country in a silent house a sleepy mother slowly cries only in her country this is how her son dies only with her color she is seen through their eyes only in my country this is not a surprise in danger in your backyard in danger through your wall only in your country anywhere at all only in our country only in our country
3.
could you ever have seen in me that shine i saw in you watching you float back downstream the river i'm wading through a slower feeling creeps up on me and all i see is your face watching old memories in my head they flash by as quick as they can before they're erased and that little whispered voice says i know you i know you too well have you ever thought of me while gazing at the sky watching all those clouds fly past right before your eyes will you ever understand who you are to me that's a silly question to ask for the train will pass right by it stops for no one, especially not me through the window thought i heard you say i want you i need you with me if the answer is no will it still be tomorrow could you always have known and was it still yesterday
4.
chocolate eclair my old brain sees you everywhere i know you're not there but i can't help but stare when i see you in my mind sugar and spice i related you with everything nice but who am i kidding the idea's not fitting and reality escapes my eyes i don't know what to do moving backwards is all i know all this time i've spent wasting for things that could never show it's out of love i keep my distance someday we'll both find what the truth is i remember your smile i remember laying down for a while but the past is gone now the present is here and the future's more our style chocolate eclair it's hard to believe you ever cared it's said and done now you'll move on somehow and i will see you i will see you i'll see you in my dreams
5.
you lie and sigh in a rotten bed reflections pulsing through your head once they're gone you're hoping it's all over you find yourself in an unknown place where everyone shows the same face is this where you'll be when you get older your friends have beat you in the race you're stuck inside a finite maze you can't turn back, the only way is forward the walls are too high so you can't see how they live successfully you jump and jump but there's no getting over find yourself a new song hopefully it's not too long before you're in a hole all you've thought and all you've done is wasted now on everyone there's no escape save for the end there's no such thing as innocence you think about a year that's passed you wondered how you'd ever last the years go by but they don't get any slower your peers can hear but they don't retain the information that keeps you sane your mother's long forgotten what you've told her on a bed you sense the end a door creaks open from within your only fear is being mediocre all the places you'll never see all the people you'd rather be you find it difficult to keep composure find yourself a new fate hopefully it's not too late before you're in the ground your eyes can see you on your bed your mind can't comprehend you're dead a certain calmness in the room but some of us had needed you to live
6.
feeling extra terrestrial once again watching people move around throwing words against the wind going back to my home alone once again at least i've got these guitars and a couple of great friends i'm grateful for what i've got though i'm always searching for more a loving face, a reassuring embrace something i've never had before my mother and father are children with no real thought for their own feeding themselves with no care for anyone else i can't fault them, it's all that they've known i haven't felt the words "i love you" since before i could recall i don't even know who "you" would be but i'm saying it would be nice is all i love where i am in life i'm glad that i get to live i've got so much more here to see and so much left to give i've had some brushes with intimacy but it's too scary and foreign for me so i retreat back and sing these songs hoping for the turn of a new leaf i try to be the best version of me but i have no idea where to start my mind is tangled up in all kinds of malaise i'd just rather concentrate on my art i love you all for listening i love you if you exist you're all superheroes to me even if you don't feel it i get better every day, at least i think i do but sometimes it's hard to move along so i'll take some time to pluck these strings and form them into a song i can't wait for the future i'm certain that it will come but for now i'm in the present and i'll be here until i'm done

about

this mini-album is an epilogue of sorts to our album The Light Has Gone Out of My Life. recorded over april-june 2021, it is a small showcase of musical/emotional improvement after the hellscape that was the year 2020 AD. there are some sad songs and some happy songs. and some melancholy songs. hopefully, you will enjoy listening to them many times.

credits

released July 9, 2021

matthew ryan - synths (1, 6)
bryce snodgrass - field recordings/tape loops (1,3), synths (5,6)
all additional noises recorded, manipulated, and mixed by ben coates

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all rights reserved

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about

Harborer Canton, Ohio

-ben coates
-matthew ryan
-bryce snodgrass

we are three young fellows from ohio that make music that we enjoy and we hope you do, too. everything you hear was done in our basement.

for updates on things follow @hrbrer on instagram and twitter aka click those links below
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