Anhedonia
by Harborer
Midnight Medics
Midnight Medics
The writing on this thing blew muh damn mind. Every track has tons to unpack from and I genuinely didn't want this album to end. I'ma be pumping to this thing for a long while.
Favorite track: Weasel.
Ashton Fisher
Ashton Fisher
This album is PHENOMENAL. At only 15 putting out a full length high quality album that is both relatable and vicarious. So glad to have listened to this album.
Favorite track: All Of Me, None For You.
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Includes unlimited streaming of Anhedonia via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.ships out within 12 days$8 USD or more
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Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Live at CODA 8/20/2022, guts remix, Austere and Lonely Offices, The Light Has Gone Out of My Life, Something of You, Look at My Van Gogh, Totally, Completely, Acid Rain, and 3 more.
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1. |
It's No Deal
08:16
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i am in a bottle
and i am being drank by the minute
i worship nothing
and i fade away every second
we sink even lower
as i come to a halt
what a beautiful day
i wish i could remember it
maybe it's true
maybe it's through
maybe it's done
it's no deal
i slip through the crack
and i ooze out of the grate
i wash away slowly
down the dirty river
we are nothing
but you are more than me
i mix with shit
as i slip away even farther
and maybe it's true
maybe it's through
maybe we're done
it's no deal
and you say that i've got so far to go
but how do you have the strength to know?
and they say that they're coming to my show
but i see no one in the many rows
maybe it's true
maybe i'm through
maybe i'm done
it's no deal
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2. |
All Of Me, None For You
06:57
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it’s been a lousy day
i was supposed to do something fun
but transportation was out
so i guess neither was i
i stayed home and talked to myself
twiddling my thumbs and rearranging my shelf
over and over in every order
but meaningless nothings could not cure my boredom
i replace my mental voice with yours
i did not mean to and i think it just happened
the ghost of you lingers in my head
i listened to the ghost voice and it said
what are you gonna do
it’s all of me but none for you
what are you gonna do
if i can’t see you through
i said “that is a great chorus” i should write that down
hopefully you’ll hear it sometime without looking around
wondering where that voice came from like me sometimes
and you’ll sit on your bed and silently cry
with an exclamation of whats and whys
and with your hopes and dreams dropping like flies
you won’t know where you are
i won’t know where you are
you could give me what i wanted
i could give you what you deserve
you could help me where i needed
i could support you being heard
i don’t know where exactly you fall
on my spectrum of love and hate
no more talk about the old days
it’s time for something
greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat
i sat on my nowhere and read nothing
my eyes scanned that nothing and my brain converted it to you
so don’t you tell me that i value you as little as you think
because you don’t think but you know that is lesser than true
so i sat on my nowhere and contemplated
a year down the road this song will disappoint me (or maybe a week)
i will think how stupid i was and how could i ever think that
but for now i’ll sit on my nowhere with no company
so i called you on the videophone
you said you seem to be smiling
i looked at you and it seemed you were trying --- not to scream
she-you said “don’t get ahead of yourself”
but i’m ahead of my head anyways
it’s in the clouds and i’m on mars already
so find yourself a seat and i’ll tell you a tale
about how i’ve got an endless supply but i don’t supply that well
i’ll tell you about the countless dreams i’ve had
and how dumb i find the rage over that nike ad
i’ll tell you how i think balloon boy’s dad was right
and how i once broke my basement light
and you listened to me ramble about all of that
i wasted all my stories just for you to say
what are you gonna do
it’s all of me but none for you
what are you gonna do
if i can’t see you through
what are you gonna do
please don’t continue
what am i gonna do
without you
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3. |
Weasel
11:13
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im lying in my bed
trying to figure out how i feel
it's hard to tell when i know it's not real
but in time I'll see as i always do as usual
im shaking my head
at the man upstairs
its funny he says that he truly cares
drink yourself to death ill catch up soon
but until then ill be through
im crazy for contact
my eyes are glued to screens
its too bad that man has no clue what i mean
but in time he'll realise when he dies
things aren't what they seem
you sit on the laptop
10 hours a day
waving your dick in the wind but thats okay
sit on the floor and watch espn
while my life comes to an end
keep talking and talking
like a movie star
if you do it enough you might get the part
i hope you do so you go away
then there may be brighter days
my apologies were never real
not that you're aware
if you knew how i truly feel
you wouldn't stay there
waiting for you to say
you're traveling afar
oh that would be the day
and i hope you are
but ill keep it in my head
in my bank of fantasies
along with the horrible ones with you on your knees
on the floor whichever first i hope it hurts too much
-ooh interlude-
in the bar on jam night
illuminated by a phone light
i keep to myself as id usually like
you interrupt my headspace
with words of grace
such as a punch in the face
my brain runs through
scenarios that you'd
be fond of probably not too
my body is a disguise
you can see it through my eyes
im just waiting for the perfect time
-ooh interlude-
you have such a vocabulary
im so very impressed
once you've said the first word i've heard all the rest
but i still listen and try not to respond
but sometimes i really want to *************
and im so sick about it
i just wish you would fade
out from my way preferably today
id be fine without you
what else could i say
you make it seem like its a real fright
but i know its a lie it couldn't be anything else
i just want to knock your book off my shelf
i just wish you would try to be a real human sometimes
or you could do the other thing that rhymes
-ooh interlude-
dear god...
and ill end this song with a little parting verse
actually i dont know what to say
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4. |
The Paper
03:19
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the paper sits in the driveway
on top of all the others
and i’m sitting on top of my world
the blonde haired man sits on the television
scaring all the mothers
all the while my reality unfurls
do you really think that i could be there
when i’m not anywhere at all
i am so sick of distractions
they’re pushing me off to fall
but don’t think about it
i won’t sell myself so i can hide what you’re really worth
i’d rather slowly jog a couple laps around the earth
what happened to chivalry? the man told me it’s dead
i asked what’s gonna happen to you and me? this is what he said
i’m lying he said nothing of value
he just told me to invest in his startup
i’ve heard about all these pyramid schemes
this one i didn’t know i was part of
my heaven consists of (guitar screeching)
and nothing more nothing less
i don’t know what your heaven looks like
but i bet the i could guess
i was flipping around on the TV and i saw in the guide “ghostbusters”
i swear i’m not misogynistic but when i saw (2016) in the info box i slightly wept and i said
do you really think i could fall
out of love with you
i don’t really think you understand
what my mind goes through
but don’t think about it
i won’t jump in the water so you can help me float
it seems selfish of me to expect you as my boat
the winners and losers in the world seem to be just fine
but i’m just sitting here trying not to lose my mind
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5. |
Sonderization
01:32
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wwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhhPPP
wwwwhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhPPP
wwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh
wwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh
wwwwwwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaahhh
wwwwwwwooooooooohhhhhhhh
wwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh
wwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeoooooohhhhhh
wwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh
wwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
BIP
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6. |
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city girl you ruined my mind
i wish i was told it was a waste of time
city girl you ruined my head
it was a long while i wished i was dead
really girl its the same as before
and im sure you'd do it again
what can i do
where can i go
how can i sleep
how can i dream
hippie girl its truly a shame
for you i think i take the blame
sadly girl it would've been nice
i still think about it even these nights
really girl im sorry for it all
but maybe girl its not all my fault
what can i do
where can i go
how can i sleep
how can i dream
sorry girl but its just how it is
there must be more to life than this
city girl you ruined my mind
really girl you wasted my time
hippie girl its quite a sad sight
all the world would tell me im right
what can i do
where can i go
how can i sleep
how can i dream
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7. |
Me Meaningless
04:50
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drag out the deceased on a regular basis
pain and hell stuck on their faces
we laugh and cry and does it really mean anything?
i want to say something but no one believes
it's like everyone’s sucked in the leaves
of a fallen tree of nothings that no one ever knows
the men stand up and they challenge me
but i am them as they are we
and you and me we everyone seems to know it all
just stick to your guns
stick them down in the sand
as you hear the cheers of the boat band
without a friend
just stick to your guns
make sure you’re free on doomsday
because you and me are meaningless
you and me meaningless oh lord
sliding down the slopes of selfish pride
don’t remember the last time you went outside
but you’re seriously pondering why your depression is worse
baby mother sits in the english two singing
what is even the point of public school
well honey you've got a lot to think about again
an itty bitty town in the seventh eleven lane
the houses are brown and the skies are grey
and i sit at night whittling my holy word around
just stick to your guns
stick them down in the sand
as you hear the cheers of the boat band
without a friend
stick to your guns
realize we’re nothing anyways
you and me are meaningless
yes you and me meaningless oh lord
just stick to your guns
stick them down in the sand
as you hear the cheers of the boat band
without a friend
just stick to your guns
make sure you’re free on doomsday
because you and me are meaningless
you and me
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8. |
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i sat down and turned on my phone like usual
and i came to the conclusion that i was not loved
the signs were all there but i was too naive
and hoped for some mercy from up above
but when i waited months and months and nothing came
my belief started a steady decline
and the sound of the tv overpowered the air
and that light in my head ceased to shine
everyone else seemed so oblivious
but that just made me more paranoid
it's all an act, that's what i told myself
so then i consciously began to avoid
the very people that told me anything was possible
that i'd go far and they would buy my sound
but i waited months and months and nothing came
and i was too scared to ask around
i guess it's a good thing because they inspired me to write this
even though i need to lie to them now
but that's what i've been put through all my life
and this is my karma somehow
and i walk on the road, look at the grass on the sides
somewhere in the world it's just about the time
to think about things and promptly gather my mind
because it's about the sudden stop, it's not about the decline
don't look at me i'm not ready
don't talk to me i might break
don't say anything it hurts me
don't do anything that would take effort
please look at me i'm trying so hard
please talk to me i'm in need
please say something i'm going crazy
please do something it's not me
it's not me, that's not you
who is who, i'm so confused
i look in the mirror and the glass looks back
my sight is broken in this static attack
please don't leave me here
please don't not invite me
even if i can't come i'd appreciate it
please don't don't please please do don't
i'm sitting on the couch and it's 1:14
maybe this is one of my turns it seems
the wall seems to be closing on me
my virtual friends would probably agree
sitting here reading mindless shit about barbeques
and feeding drugs to different rodents for science
maybe i should have went the path 1st grade me used
with that microscope and lab coat and the brain that i had
had is the word that i'm focusing on
remember the friends the friends that i had
maybe i rely on people too much and too much is bad
and that's a factor in why i'm always sad
i'm rhyming like a damn troglodyte
maybe i shouldn't rhyme the words at all
maybe i just shouldn't talk at all
but that was a rhyme, but that doesn't really count
don't look at me i'm not ready
don't talk to me i might break
don't say anything it hurts me
don't do anything that would take effort
please look at me i'm trying so hard
please talk to me i'm in need
please say something i'm going crazy
please do something it's not me
please do something.
anything.
please.
i said the magic word and nothing happened
i said the magic word and nothing happened
i said the magic word and nothing happened
i said the magic word and nothing happened
magic isn't real
i'm not real
you're not real
i'm trying to be real
i'm not trying that hard though
i'm trying so hard though
you're not trying at all though
i'm not trying at all though
i don't understand why people want to be animals
it seems like a childish thing to do
but i just remembered i'm writing a song about my sadness
so that probably beats it out by a little
it's right at this moment i see how pathetic this is
and how pathetic you are and how pathetic i am
and i'm being such an annoying teenager holy shit
go read a book you idiot
i used to think being self aware was cool and funny but in reality it's really taxing
to hear a grown man or a small boy talk about how he's not smart but he is
it's not ironic or entertaining
different strokes for different folks
coherency is out the window
mindless rants oh yeah!!!
you can go to school today and you can get a job later
you can punch into your job and you can go to the movies later
you can go see a movie and you can think about life later
you can think of anything you want hopefully never later
please look at me i've stopped trying
please talk to me or don't if you don't want
please say something i'll be here if you do
i'll always be here except when i'm
not
but when am i ever not
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9. |
Werewolf
06:33
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and ill go as far as i can to say to you how i feel
but where does the lie end i can’t try to call your bluff
and you say that it’ll be over soon
my mind is gone now check back in a while
and i’ll go to the cliff and throw myself completely off
and i know where my bridge is but its too thin to cross
but it’s so horrifying when you live with a monster
a werewolf hyde figure when the moon is out
and you say that it’ll be over soon
but if my mind’s gone now what will it be like later
a pile of garbage stacked around the room can’t see the floor
i dream of days that werewolf walks out my front door
aaaaaaaooooooooooooooooooooo
but i guess it’s all i’ll ever know
the cliff’s right in front of me but i’m too scared to fall
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10. |
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and ill go as far as i can to say to you how i feel
but where does the lie end i can’t try to call your bluff
and you say that it’ll be over soon
my mind is gone now check back in a while
and i’ll go to the cliff and throw myself completely off
and i know where my bridge is but its too thin to cross
but it’s so horrifying when you live with a monster
a werewolf hyde figure when the moon is out
and you say that it’ll be over soon
but if my mind’s gone now what will it be like later
a pile of garbage stacked around the room can’t see the floor
i dream of days that werewolf walks out my front door
aaaaaaaooooooooooooooooooooo
but i guess it’s all i’ll ever know
the cliff’s right in front of me but i’m too scared to fall
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11. |
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try to save it but it doesn't come off the rug
try to build a wall that is high enough
it's all boiling over, all boiling over
try to save your house, try to save your songs
try to run but it follows you up a hill
it's all boiling over, all boiling over
your loved ones, your loved ones
a normal conversation, a normal conversation
you should have took me out when you had the chance
you should have took me out when you had the chance
all the rooms renumbered
losers turn away
don't turn away, don't turn away
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about
this is an album about me. or rather not about me. but about people very close to me and around me. but also me.
i wrote this album over the course of september 2018-january 2019. i recorded this album sporadically with most of the recording being done in late december/early january. one of the songs on this album was mostly done in july though. i got through many many bouts of writers block to bring this album to you, so i hope you may appreciate it.
there are no synthesizers on this album. mostly because i am not in possession of my midi controller at the moment, but also because i wrote every single one of these songs on a guitar and i don't feel that there is a necessity for a synthesizer on any of these tracks. there is no sequencing. there is no quantization. the drum sample on track5 is a frankensample of my real drums reversed and fucked and glitched out.
i think thats enough for me here. click "info" on each of the tracks if you want to learn more about the individual songs.
i wrote this album over the course of september 2018-january 2019. i recorded this album sporadically with most of the recording being done in late december/early january. one of the songs on this album was mostly done in july though. i got through many many bouts of writers block to bring this album to you, so i hope you may appreciate it.
there are no synthesizers on this album. mostly because i am not in possession of my midi controller at the moment, but also because i wrote every single one of these songs on a guitar and i don't feel that there is a necessity for a synthesizer on any of these tracks. there is no sequencing. there is no quantization. the drum sample on track5 is a frankensample of my real drums reversed and fucked and glitched out.
i think thats enough for me here. click "info" on each of the tracks if you want to learn more about the individual songs.
credits
released February 22, 2019
all songs written by ben coates
ben coates - drums, bass, guitars, synths, sampling, arrangements, mixing, mastering, studio engineering... do you get it at this point?
all songs written by ben coates
ben coates - drums, bass, guitars, synths, sampling, arrangements, mixing, mastering, studio engineering... do you get it at this point?
license
all rights reserved
tags
about
Harborer Canton, Ohio
-ben coates
-matthew ryan
-bryce snodgrass
-rubin shirley
we are four
fellows from ohio that make music that we enjoy and we hope you do, too. everything you hear was done in our basement, or outside, or in some other room.
for updates on things follow @hrbrer on instagram aka click that link below
... more
discography
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Aug 2022 -
Jul 2021 -
Jul 2021 -
Dec 2020 -
Dec 2020 -
May 2020 -
Jan 2020 -
Jan 2020 -
Apr 2019 -
Feb 2019 -
Jun 2018